Empathy: A Lost Art?

A few days ago, I received a call from a telemarketer representing a national, charitable organization dedicated to eliminating a particular life-threatening disease. As soon as I said “hello”, the 20-something year old voice on the other end of the phone immediately launched into his “Wow, I’ve reached a live person, so I have 60 seconds to make my pitch without letting the other person get a word in edgewise” script. As best as I can recall, he said something like — “Hi…I’m from XYZ Organization and we need you to send out 15 donation cards…” — and I honestly can’t recollect what messaging immediately followed given his hyper-drive delivery style. But I vividly recall how the rest of the conversation unfolded. As he said “Can I send you our packet in the mail today?” – I deliberately took a deep breath, lowered my voice, and in a soft, gentle and polite tone replied “I was just told that my mother, who is in Stage 4 Alzheimer’s, doesn’t have long to live.”

Why would I decide to share such a private, painful slice of my life with a complete stranger at that particular moment in time? Because I thought that by offering a glimpse into my world to a person affiliated with a worthy charity would be a respectful, considerate, thoughtful and patient way to help him understand that now was not the time to engage me in a “Can I 100% count on you to volunteer?” discussion. Admittedly, what occurred next was completely unexpected.

Without skipping a beat, the young man retorted “Well that’s why we give you 30 days to send out the donation cards!” Did I actually just hear him say that? Did he really just say “OK, I hear that your mom is dying, but with the 30-day clock running, you should still have some time after that to send out our postcards?” As I quickly replayed the tape in my head, I immediately concluded that he inadvertently didn’t hear the part about my mother. So I reiterated “My mother’s health is failing. Now is not a good time for me.” Being quick on the uptake yet again, my phone partner leapt to his Call to Action: Plan B script — “OK — you can always request our postcards at a future date by calling us at 877-###-####. “ 

Thought Provoker: Wikipedia describes “lost art” as “original pieces of art that credible sources indicate once existed, but cannot be accounted for in museums, private collections or are known to have been destroyed or neglected through ignorance and lack of connoisseurship.” Have some of us lost the art of empathy – the art of being sensitive to another person’s experiences and feelings? We know that it once existed, but are we finding that we can’t account for it in our day-to-day interactions with others? Has our ability to empathize been destroyed or neglected through ignorance and lack of connoisseurship? Is revitalizing our empathetic spirit one more opportunity to rekindle our emotional connection with those we come in contact with on a daily basis (Emotional Connection: A Universal Motivator & Change Accelerator)?

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